Richard Attenburgh as Santa Claus "Ho ho ho, cough splutter wheeze"
David Prose (and the voice of James Earl Jones) as Darth Claus "I have felt his presents"
Linda Hamilton as Mrs Claus "He's not Santa Claus, he's a very naughty boy!"
Sylvester Stallone as Judge Claus "I knew you'd get that!"
Gary Oldman as The Hooded Claus "No one can stop me now!"
Keanu Reeves as Anti-Claws the Dog "Woof!"
and also Lee Majors as Lee Majors "I'm Lee Majors"
the evil of the ACL as they try to stop Christmas!
death-defying stunts and aerial combat!
at state of the art special effects!
explosions louder than Christmas Crackers!
Not for those of a nervous disposition or pregnant women!
Hear what the papers are saying:
'15 faint in Midville cinema!'
'5 killed in Anti-ACL operations!'
'FBI and CIA deny ACL links!'
'Child gets toy for Christmas!'
Now sit back, and enjoy the new series of:
Santa Claus vs the ACL is set in the turmoil surrounding Christmas - The Anti-Christmas League (ACL) have decided to stamp out Christmas, and to do this they have been targeting the Christmas icon of Santa Claus, and will stop at nothing to defeat him.
Santa Claus himself is getting older and older and for the past few years has enlisted the help of his family to help him out, but the family don't get on as well as they used to...
This is intended as a not-too-serious look at Christmas life in the year 2048.
Those of too-sensible dispositions should pass on this...
The Anti-Christmas League is composed of scientists and generally unhappy people who feel that their misery should be spread around.
The scientists believe that Santa Claus is disrupting the Space-Time continuum and poses a very serious threat to the existence of Earth. They claim that Santa Claus breaks every law of physics out, or else how would he be able to give out so many presents in so little time and yet operate in real time when he's spotted?
The others just don't like Christmas and feel that no one else should be able to have it either.
In any case, these people are the few people who actually believe in Santa Claus, and it is this belief that allows them to see Santa and his helpers, and then fire live ammunition in their wake...
Which is unfortunate really. As only the ACL (and children and Lee Majors) can see Santa and Co, it means that only they can be harmed by them or harm them. It also means that most members are locked up by the police for being a menace to society and trying to shoot targets that no one else can see.
The children just smile knowingly...
The Claus family is made up of Santa, Mrs Claus and their children - Darth (the older brother who has a fetish for PVC suits), Judge (the youngest brother and a bit of a authoritian figure), The Hooded Claus (the brother usually on the wrong side of the law), Anti-Claws the intelligent family dog - and accompanied by close family friend Lee Majors.
Santa is getting older, and his family know it. So over the past few years the rest have been helping out, each taking a section of the world and delivering presents. However just recently there has been talk of Santa retiring and this has sparked some jealous rivalry amongst the Claus's and each has taken a squad of elves and set up their own workshops to create their own sleighs and presents.
Lee Majors has also gotten involved in this, and the elves seem to want to follow him everywhere.
Speaking of help, the Claus's have the elves, lovely small people who dress in green and red. They are the constructors, the helpers and love to be involved in everything that the Claus's do. Not great in combat, but you can't fault their enthusiasm!
'Santa Claus vs the ACL' is all about the continuing conflict between these groups of people!
This has been a 'Cheap and Tacky Backshed Production' 1998.
Influences for this lunacy include: 'Scrooged', especially the opening sequences, 'Sleigh Wars', an early White Dwarf game of Santa Claus sleigh combat, Earthwork Jim.
Additional inspiration:
Michael P. Owen for additional cyber robo lunacy.
The images used here are scanned from the Car Wars calender, and used without permission.
